have you ever wished that someone close to you was a totally different person? i have had that wish all my life. i have hopes that my wish is coming true, but days like today tend to tarnish that dream and make me realize how truly hard life can be.
i got a call from my mother earlier tonight letting me know that my big brother didn’t pick up his wife tonight from work. no one has heard from him since about 5:30, when he sent a text letting his wife know he was on his way. its now 11:30pm. and i don’t know where my big brother is. and i’m scared. and worried. and hurt. and i want to yell and scream. and cry. and curl up in a ball and not think about it. but i don’t want to do any of those things at the same time. i don’t know if my brother is lying in a ditch somewhere. or if he is ok. maybe he is scared. more scared than i am right now. scared that life sometimes sucks. and sometimes its hard to go home.
i just want to know that my big brother is ok.